Our single Muslim brothers get asked this popular question: "What's your idea of a perfect wife?" This is incredibly flawed and we need to stop asking it. Perfection is a fairtyale-hollywood-bollywoodian special effect that simply does not exist in real life. When our sources of information for marriage come out of a magazine or movie, it's bound to include at least one ultra-high expectation of a super-hijabi wife. So, unless Muslim men are raised with fantastically honest parents and holistic education where they grow alongside real Muslim women, more than likely they have the hope of a fantasy wife in their minds. An uber babe.
I hear men using the Khadijah-code too. The Khadijah code? That's when he says, "All I want is a wife like Khadijah". May Allah be pleased with her, Khaijdah is not the minimum standard for a partner, Khadijah is the maximum standard. I've said it before that all women are not Khadijahs; some are Summayas, others are Mariams and some are Zainabs. A model of the ultimate wife does not exist. And when a man puts his potential wife on such a high platform, he's disappointed when she makes a mistake.
Instead of asking for the "ideal" wife, ask for the human wife. Ask a Muslim man what he's willing to work for, the domestic lifestyle he's o.k. with and what he realistically hopes to gain in marriage.
On one hand the artificial super-hijabi wives can be moulded out of movie material but they don't bring the contentment Allah talks about. The instant shake'n'bake microwavable partners also exist but they're cheap and will malfunction.
Look for the Muslim woman with a heart that loves Allah and helps you love Allah. That is as close to perfection as it gets.