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Ramadhan - Day 2: Have you ever..

...Been so vexed that murderous contemplations became the forefront of your mind? Today left me so close to getting convicted... or an ASBO.

The summer fasting has peculiar timings and with work and the daily routine, sleep and food have caused an allergic reaction to my otherwise tolerant frame of mind.

Waking for fast @ 3am and reading fajr* salah at 4-ish. Sleeping for 2hrs and waking at 6am for work only to spend 7 hrs convincing people that fasting should bring out the best in us (including me). Finishing @ 6pm and nodding off only to wake to a lethargic body. Then opening the fast like a siyaam-drive-thru and rushing for Isha; finishing outstanding work and trying to sleep *now*. This has left me with a strong case of tiredness, a dose of utter frustration at muslims' lack of involvement in striving during ramadhan (including mysef) and a sprinkling of low-self esteem thinking that I should give up too.

But NO! said Allah to me in Surah al-Baqarah*. When you need an attentive friend who really listens and doesn't judge, nothing takes the place of the Quran.

"Ramadhan is the month in which was sent down the Qur'an, as a guide to mankind, also clear (Signs) for guidance and judgment between right and wrong. So every one of you who is present (at his home) during that month should spend it in fasting, but if any one is ill, or on a journey, the prescribed period (Should be made up) by days later. Allah intends every facility for you; He does not want to put to difficulties. (He wants you) to complete the prescribed period, and to glorify Him in that He has guided you; and perchance ye shall be grateful."

Chapter 2, verse 184

And that, my readers, told me to face up at the rain, to thank Allah for my life, to take each test seriously and try my best to pass it, learn from mistakes, understand that nothing is impossible and that fasting will, eventually, with effort, bring out my innermost muslimness for the good of my own soul.

Peace be with you.

*Fajr- the time just before sunrise, therefore the time for prayer in Islamic law for all believers.
*Surah al-Baqarah -the second chapter to the Quran, titled 'The Cow', named after a golden calf which the followers of Moses revered and idolised.

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