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How Not To Give Up Your Marriage Intentions

Saturday, 5 March 2011

In the name of God, Compassionate, Merciful بسم الله الرحمن الرحيمِ | Peace be with you السلام عليكم

By sister Megan, your "Finding Your Other Half" Coach from Practimate

As'salamu `Alaikum,

Wow, last year sure did seem to fly by pretty fast, didn't it? So here we are well into the new year, and if you are like me, you can't help but fall into the mindset of goal setting for the rest of the year. 

Is one of your goals to get married this year?

If it is, then I would love to support you in your journey. I've got some new opportunities coming up for you this year that I hope will make a big difference in your life, and how you find your Mr. Right (or Mrs. Wonderful), insha'Allah.

Before they arrive though, I would like to recommend the following to jump start the year:


1) Renew your intention for getting married. 

It may have been awhile, and with all the ups and downs, it's possible you have forgotten the whole point of wanting to get married in the first place, which is to earn the pleasure of Allah, subhanahu wa ta`ala. I've put together a simple journal page to help you do this:

DOWNLOAD your copy of my "Marriage Intentions" worksheet.

2) Revisit your "want" list. 
Take a moment to revisit that checklist of what you want in your future partner in crime, and make sure it's still realistic and compatible with who you are right now. Sometimes, your ideas on the checklist remain the same, when you have changed as a person. Maybe last year it was OK to marry someone in education full time, but now you prefer someone who is settled, because starting a family is something you are looking forward to now.

3) Commit to growth! 

Let this year be your year of personal development and growth, not just about the marriage process or becoming a spouse, but also how to live your life at your greatest  potential. Sometimes, the reason you aren't married is nothing more than your attitude on life, and the actions you do or don't take because of fear!

Members only: I'll be sharing with you a free training video very soon to kick-start that learning and growth process, so stay tuned to your inbox! (membership is free)

In the meantime, I pray you will benefit and begin with the  "Marriage Intentions" journal sheet!


During one of our live Q&A sessions following one of our training programs, a sister asked a question to Sh.Yasir Birjas, one of our faculty members, the following question:

"I've been trying so long to get married. Maybe it's not written for me. Can I stop looking for awhile, and focus on other things?"

Have you ever felt like you should just give up or quit trying to get married?


I think we have all been through moments in life where we wanted something to happen so badly, but nothing was changing. Depression, frustration, exhaustion, and even anger surface. At least I know I have!

Sh.Yasir's response was the following:


"You should never stop looking to get married. You keep trying, new ways, staying focused on your goal until you find someone, bithnillah."

You may feel desperate at times because you are so adamant about wanting to get married, and figure that since nothing has happened, you might as well stop bothering.

Even though it gets hard wanting to get married, wanting to start a new chapter in your life, and feeling like none of your efforts count, think again! Your intentions make ALL the difference. So long as your intentions are sincere, then your getting rewarded by Allah for all of your efforts, masha'Allah.


YOUR INTENTIONS WILL DIRECTLY IMPACT THE ACTIONS YOU TAKE!


So, while "waiting," you are gaining the pleasure of Allah by pursuing marriage in a way that is halal and pleasing to Him. With pure intentions, you take pure actions, and pure actions lead to the best results.


If you haven't printed out the journal sheet I made for you to renew your intentions for this year, then please download the "Marriage Intentions" worksheet now.


Jazakum Allahu Khairan,

Megan
Your "Finding Your Other Half" Coach
Practimate, Find Your Mr Right

More relationship drama:
Video: What Muslims Should Look For in A Spouse
Sex Education For Muslims {comic 85}
"But he loves me..."


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Saeeda said...

Erm I am sorry but how a sheet containing four open-ended questions going to help one to not give one one's marriage intentions?

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Thank you. Have you read Muslimness.com?