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The Muslim Way To Console & Deal With Loss

islamic manners abd fattah book
Edited from Islamic Manners by Shaykh Abd al Fattah Abu Ghuddah. Buy from Kitaabun.

Parting among loved ones is the rule of Allah in His creations. Whether it's death, distance or heartbreak, al-Hafiz al-Mundhiri reported the hadith, "Love whoever you will, for you will part." Along these same lines, poets have said,

We are but guests with our families,
Staying a while and leaving them

Wealth and parents are but trusts
Inevitably, one day trusts will be recalled

The children of this life will all part
Until they meet together again in the hereafter.

One wise poet listed eight stages we all pass through, and no-one is spared:
- Happiness and sorrow; meeting and seperation
- Suffering and ease; illness and well being.

Another poet said:
Make endurance my friend,
And leave painful sorrow
You are not alone.
Everyone lost, or will lose, a loved one.

Even if it hurts, when a relative or a close friend of one of your relatives or friends passes away, be quick to offer your condolences. You have the moral obligation towards your relatives and friends, of allieviating their suffering. If you can, you should attend the funeral and the burial at the cemetery. Aside from being a highly rewarding gesture of sympathy, it could be an effective admonition - a lesson reminding you of the inevitably of death:

Your life taught me many lessons,
Today your death taught me the most important lesson.

Bukhari reported that the Prophet ﷺ said, "The rights of a Muslim towards his brothers are five:

  • to return a greeting,
  • to visit them when they are ill,
  • to attend their funeral,
  • to answer their invitations,
  • and to bless them after they sneeze."

Imam Ahmad reported that the Prophet ﷺ said, "Visit the sick and follow the precession of funerals, you will remember the Hereafter."

I can become exhausted from condolences, hundreds of sincere individuals lined one after another. They do not know a grieving person requires some 'alone time' to compose themselves. But their condolence does alleviate the sense of grieving that befalls the family of the deceased. This is achieved by encouraging them to remain dignified and to trust in Allah's great reward for being patient (accepting). Allah says in surat al-Baqarah,
"And give glad tidings to those who patiently endure, who say when afflicted with a disaster, 'Truly to Allah we belong and to Him is our return.' They are those on whom descend blessings and mercy of their Lord, and they are the guided ones." (Qur'an, 2:155-157).

Condolence includes praying for the help and pardon of the deceased, as they will receive the benefit of such prayers. Condolence is a sincere expression of ones' sympathy and sorrow at these stressful moments. Ibn Maja and al-Bayhaqi reported the hadith, "A Muslim who consoles other Muslims suffering from a calamity will be awarded a dress of dignity by Allah on the day of Judgement."

Zaufishan | British Muslim Blog

1 comment:

Thank you. Have you read Muslimness.com?

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