How To Destroy Perfection

In the name of God, compassionate & merciful بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ | Peace be with you السلام عليكم

My baking skills begin and end with shop bought pastries and frozen gâteaux's. Once I made a mad strawberry roulade that would make you squeal with yumness but every time I try to bake something the second time round, it collapses. This is what happened in early 2009 when I attempted a perfect swiss-roll aka roulade for the second time.

1. Take a perfectly good recipe book and flip to the page titled 'Perfect Strawberry Roulade'. [for example, this recipe]

2. Assemble utensils and ingredients as previously done, align in a perfectly good order. Ensure all foods are toxin free and within the 'use by date' label...

3. Carry out instructions to perfection, remembering precise measurements. The key here is sabr - patience.

4. Whisk, fold, spoon over and bake thoroughly with love.

5. Take out and prepare to admire the final result, after rolling baked goods with whipped cream and sliced strawberries. Dust in icing sugar.

Sounds well easy doesn't it? THINK AGAIN.

What should have come out to perfection like this:

Came out looking like this:

A flat biscuit. I'm not sure if it was the dodgy egg whites, mish-mashed temperature settings or just my general lack of attention to get it over with. I tried to regain its dignity with icing sugar but failed.

And that, my friends, is how you destroy perfection.

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